You know your husband is deployed if ...

...your toddler leaves a video message for Daddy about her latest potty training accomplishments.

...you wake up in the middle of the night because your computer is making noises that could be incoming chat messages, but are really automatic updates.

...your toddler sees soldiers in uniform and says "That is my Daddy."

...the dog barks for 20 minutes at bunnies, but you let him because you want him to continue scaring away anything or anyone that's outside the house.

...your toddler changes the song "Three Blind Mice" to "Three Blind Camels" (She REALLY did this. Those were the only 3 words in her whole song, but she sang them over and over!)

Don't catch it

Sometimes deployment just sucks and there isn't a positive spin. For the sake of honesty I'd like to write about that tonight. I haven't blogged in awhile and thought maybe I should wait until the funk passes. But why? Its not truthful when I ALWAYS give my posts a silver lining, a happy ending, or a funny twist.

Sometimes the distance feels greater. Sometimes the communication is nonexistent. Sometimes the everyday stresses feel more stressful. Sometimes life feels darker. Sometimes there is a strange kind of joy found in the unhappiness. It happens.

I've learned this mood can be contagious. Just look on Facebook and you can track the general mood of the day. Lots of people complaining about the weather, feeling sick, being overwhelmed lately. Or is that just my interpretation? Could be. Unhappiness finds unhappiness.

Time to attack the infection one pathetic thought at a time. Time to fight off the depression. But I really don't want to. Why does the nature of depression make us hold on so tightly to the misery? Why do our minds sabotage us into staying depressed?

My Orders Arrived

The smell became overwhelming. Every time I walked into my house I smelled them. I didn't actually notice the stench anywhere else in the house, just the entryway. Friends thought wet basement. Parents thought stinky garage smell seeping in. I knew. The mice were back and they were living in the crawl space below the entry way. Once you've smelled them you don't forget. The deployment curse strikes again and this time it cannot be ignored.

My parents unscrewed the plywood wall my husband had put up between the closet and crawl space. Whew! Knocked over by the smell. Yup. Mice. My dad saw seeds stockpiled for winter. I saw droppings from their months of late night parties. The crawl space used to have standing water, but my husband fixed the leaks. Now it is a dry, warm party room for a colony of mice. They had gone undisturbed for many months. I hadn't heard them or seen them. They stayed out of my sight. The plywood wall worked so well they hadn't even traveled out into the closet. But then the smell hit and gave them away.

I called the exterminator. He came today and I signed a 3 month insurance plan. Usually its a one time visit and then return visits only if needed. He'll be back.

He looked into the crawl space a little more thoroughly than my parents and I did the other night. He stepped back in amazement. Then he took pictures to show the other exterminators. Seriously. Pictures of the scene might be posted on their website. You know its bad when the experts are taken aback.

He set many snap and glue traps. I vacuumed out the whole crawl space. Then I bleached my vacuum. I am ready for the battle. Or so I thought.

Tonight I returned home to find a mouse in one of the traps in the garage (yup they're in there too). It was still alive and struggling to get out. Not the image I needed to start this battle. Now I'm feeling sorry for them. I wish they could read an eviction notice or peacefully agree to my terms (move out and you don't have to die). I don't want to be a soldier. I hate deployment.