My daughter has discovered the movie "Annie". You know, the one from the 80s. No, there hasn't been an updated version. She LOVES this movie. We watch part of it everyday. I really think it helps her cope with deployment and life.
Lessons learned from Annie:
1. Singing always makes things better! My daughter sings songs from the movie and any other songs she knows throughout the day. When she's upset in the car, music often soothes her.
2. "Ms. Hannigan is NOT nice." This sentence is repeated daily. I guess she's learning that some people aren't nice. For a week she was including me in the "not nice" category. Whenever I made her mad, she'd step on my foot, like the orphans do to Ms. Hannigan. So, that led to another important lesson:
3. We have to treat all people nicely. We can't step on people's feet even if they make us mad. I actually found myself saying, "Poor Ms. Hannigan. That must HURT when those girls do that to her!"
4. "We don't say shut up, Mommy. That's bad." Well she says this sentence daily, so I guess she DOES say "shut up" a little. She actually hasn't said shut up away from this context yet. So maybe this lesson is sticking!
4. "You're never fully dressed without a smile." Ahhh...that song speaks for itself. We have started checking if we have our smiles when we head out the door.
5. "It's a hard knock life." I think even at 2, she can appreciate the hard life these orphan girls face. She understands their pain and she sings along with them. That is when I'm not yelling at her to, "make this place shiiiine like the top of the Chrysler building." :)
The most touching lesson shared from movies came from another oldie, but goodie- "Lady and the Tramp". The dogs are all jailed at the dog pound. They are whining and howling out their sadness. Tonight, my daughter teared up at this part and said, "Those dogs are sad. They miss their dad." (heart breaking, isn't it?) I cuddled up next to her and asked what those dogs could do to feel better. "Hug". I offered her a hug and suddenly she was her normal cheery self again. She shared her pain with the dogs and the pain evaporated!
See! TV isn't sooooo bad. Sometimes it's full of lessons and therapeutic moments! Has anyone written a musical about deployment yet? We'd watch it!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Hurry Home Honey!
Of course I am MOST excited to spend quality time with my husband when he gets home, but there are other little things I'm starting to look forward to...
1. Him doing the laundry. I did at least 5 loads in the last 2 days. I'm sick of it. He always does the laundry and seems to enjoy it. Seriously. I know that makes me a very lucky lady. I like to vacuum and when he's here I do it more regularly. So, it balances out.
2. Driving places on my own. Yesterday I met a friend for breakfast. I brought my daughter because I can't very well leave her home alone and I brought the dog because it was a sunny day and he enjoys hanging out in the car. It starts to feel crowded and loud with all of us in there. I'm looking forward to the solitude and silence of driving by myself every once in a while.
3. Along with #2 is being in the car alone and listening to what I want to listen to. My daugther thinks she's a DJ and yells her requests for specific songs from her carseat. I haven't listened to the radio in weeks. When she's home spending quality time with Daddy I look forward to running errands, alone, and listening to anything my heart desires!
4. Coming home to dinner. Again, I'm lucky. He likes to cook and he's good at it. I am looking forward to walking in the door and having someone greet me WITH FOOD.
5. Someone to help with the dog every single day. I like to walk the dog...sometimes. I don't like to walk the dog when it takes 20 minutes to get out the door because my daughter wants to watch one more part of Annie and then wants to run around before I can put her jacket on. And the dog is running around stealing things. So I'm chasing him and retrieving stuffed animals and toys. I'm yelling at my daughter to get her jacket on. Somehow we all get out the door. I'm sweating and out of patience. Then we have to examine every snow pile (daughter) as we sprint full speed down the icy street (hyper dog). I think my arms are getting longer. Sometimes the dog acts like a person and stands on his hind legs because there are squirrels up in a tree and he wants to get them. Sometimes my daughter acts like a dog and crawls on all fours. That happened today. She got filthy. All her outdoor wear was one of the loads of laudry I had to do(see #1).
6. Someone else to answer questions. There are some days I can't even come up with any more BS to answer the million questions from an almost 3 year old. "Why did the sun go nigh night already?" "Why is the snow dirty?" "What is that thing?" Now I can use one answer for ALL the questions..."Go ask Daddy".
7. Someone else to get kicked and hit. I'm not hoping that she hits him. I'm just hoping that I will no longer be the sole target of her angry outbursts. It's hard to be the ONLY target of all that toddler wrath. It's quite possible that Daddy being home will help stop some of the outrage because we'll both (all) be happier and more patient. It's also possible I'll continue being the only target, but at least I'll have a teammate to take my side!
8. Less tears from the dog. A sad dog makes me feel guilty on top of any of my own sadness.
9. Someone else to sort through the mail. I hate looking through the mail. Most of it's bills or junk addressed to my hubby. Now he can deal with it all.
10. Someone to change light bulbs regularly. I'm totally capable of this, but for whatever reason I don't do it. My parents have changed 3 or 4 light bulbs during this deployment. My sister changed one. When my husband was home he changed 3. He also found an obscure bulb for our entryway light and held onto me while I leaned out over the ledge and changed that (see I CAN do it!) I cleaned up pounds of mouse poop so I have no guilt over not changing light bulbs.
11. Ahhh! That reminds me. He gets to finish dealing with the mouse housing development downstairs. I did all the hard work (with some help from the exterminator). There have been no mice since. The crawl space needs to be cleaned out a little more, sealed off, and all the random stuff I pulled out of it and left in the laundry room needs to be dealt with. That will make it easier for him to do all that laundry!
Geez...I hope this post won't convince him to take the free ride the Army is offering to Afghanistan (I have a lot to say about THAT too...but will save it for another day).
I'm just kidding about the long list of things for you to do, honey. We'll bring you beer and baked beans as you sit on the couch and relax. (Although the house might be dark and I might be humming children's songs while screaming at the dog and child to cooperate and get ready for a walk.) It will be fun. Really. Hurry home!
1. Him doing the laundry. I did at least 5 loads in the last 2 days. I'm sick of it. He always does the laundry and seems to enjoy it. Seriously. I know that makes me a very lucky lady. I like to vacuum and when he's here I do it more regularly. So, it balances out.
2. Driving places on my own. Yesterday I met a friend for breakfast. I brought my daughter because I can't very well leave her home alone and I brought the dog because it was a sunny day and he enjoys hanging out in the car. It starts to feel crowded and loud with all of us in there. I'm looking forward to the solitude and silence of driving by myself every once in a while.
3. Along with #2 is being in the car alone and listening to what I want to listen to. My daugther thinks she's a DJ and yells her requests for specific songs from her carseat. I haven't listened to the radio in weeks. When she's home spending quality time with Daddy I look forward to running errands, alone, and listening to anything my heart desires!
4. Coming home to dinner. Again, I'm lucky. He likes to cook and he's good at it. I am looking forward to walking in the door and having someone greet me WITH FOOD.
5. Someone to help with the dog every single day. I like to walk the dog...sometimes. I don't like to walk the dog when it takes 20 minutes to get out the door because my daughter wants to watch one more part of Annie and then wants to run around before I can put her jacket on. And the dog is running around stealing things. So I'm chasing him and retrieving stuffed animals and toys. I'm yelling at my daughter to get her jacket on. Somehow we all get out the door. I'm sweating and out of patience. Then we have to examine every snow pile (daughter) as we sprint full speed down the icy street (hyper dog). I think my arms are getting longer. Sometimes the dog acts like a person and stands on his hind legs because there are squirrels up in a tree and he wants to get them. Sometimes my daughter acts like a dog and crawls on all fours. That happened today. She got filthy. All her outdoor wear was one of the loads of laudry I had to do(see #1).
6. Someone else to answer questions. There are some days I can't even come up with any more BS to answer the million questions from an almost 3 year old. "Why did the sun go nigh night already?" "Why is the snow dirty?" "What is that thing?" Now I can use one answer for ALL the questions..."Go ask Daddy".
7. Someone else to get kicked and hit. I'm not hoping that she hits him. I'm just hoping that I will no longer be the sole target of her angry outbursts. It's hard to be the ONLY target of all that toddler wrath. It's quite possible that Daddy being home will help stop some of the outrage because we'll both (all) be happier and more patient. It's also possible I'll continue being the only target, but at least I'll have a teammate to take my side!
8. Less tears from the dog. A sad dog makes me feel guilty on top of any of my own sadness.
9. Someone else to sort through the mail. I hate looking through the mail. Most of it's bills or junk addressed to my hubby. Now he can deal with it all.
10. Someone to change light bulbs regularly. I'm totally capable of this, but for whatever reason I don't do it. My parents have changed 3 or 4 light bulbs during this deployment. My sister changed one. When my husband was home he changed 3. He also found an obscure bulb for our entryway light and held onto me while I leaned out over the ledge and changed that (see I CAN do it!) I cleaned up pounds of mouse poop so I have no guilt over not changing light bulbs.
11. Ahhh! That reminds me. He gets to finish dealing with the mouse housing development downstairs. I did all the hard work (with some help from the exterminator). There have been no mice since. The crawl space needs to be cleaned out a little more, sealed off, and all the random stuff I pulled out of it and left in the laundry room needs to be dealt with. That will make it easier for him to do all that laundry!
Geez...I hope this post won't convince him to take the free ride the Army is offering to Afghanistan (I have a lot to say about THAT too...but will save it for another day).
I'm just kidding about the long list of things for you to do, honey. We'll bring you beer and baked beans as you sit on the couch and relax. (Although the house might be dark and I might be humming children's songs while screaming at the dog and child to cooperate and get ready for a walk.) It will be fun. Really. Hurry home!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Yeahbut
Really? Only a short time until this deployment ends and he can home!
Yeahbut then he leaves for training a month after he gets home.
Wow! This January marks 10 years in the military.
Yeahbut now we have 10 years ahead of us until retirement.
Military life is full of yeah, buts. I guess I better get used to it.
I do have one yeah without a but.
Yeah! I did it. I took care of myself, a child, a dog, a house, and 24 students for many months. And I'm not crazy (am I?). But it's not over yet. Damn. That was a but, wasn't it?
What are your yeah buts?
Yeahbut then he leaves for training a month after he gets home.
Wow! This January marks 10 years in the military.
Yeahbut now we have 10 years ahead of us until retirement.
Military life is full of yeah, buts. I guess I better get used to it.
I do have one yeah without a but.
Yeah! I did it. I took care of myself, a child, a dog, a house, and 24 students for many months. And I'm not crazy (am I?). But it's not over yet. Damn. That was a but, wasn't it?
What are your yeah buts?
Monday, January 4, 2010
Oh he left yesterday? How are you?
I'm fine. Really. Don't believe me? Just ignore these 3 moments.
1. I put on J's winter hat and peeked in on our daughter. She had asked about Daddy's hat because he didn't wear it to the airport. She saw me and said, "Mommy you're silly". My eyes got wet and I quickly put it away. No more dressing up like Daddy until I can fix those leaky eyes.
2. I smelled J's shirt. Oops. No more looking at, smelling, or wearing any of his clothes.
3. My mom called and asked about the dog. First she asked about me, my husband, our daughter, the goodbye. I gave her all the details in a detached but pulled together way. I assured her that I was "fine". Then she asked if the dog came to the airport. I got choked up. "uh-huh" breathe "He's....having....the...hardest...time...of any of us". Ridiculous. I know. But after J got out of the car, the dog's eyes were watering. He cries when J leaves. You don't have to believe me, but I've witnessed it many times. He also refused to eat all day. He jumped up when the neighbors' garage opened because it sounded like Daddy's garage. He'll be fine. I will be too. I had no trouble eating today.
1. I put on J's winter hat and peeked in on our daughter. She had asked about Daddy's hat because he didn't wear it to the airport. She saw me and said, "Mommy you're silly". My eyes got wet and I quickly put it away. No more dressing up like Daddy until I can fix those leaky eyes.
2. I smelled J's shirt. Oops. No more looking at, smelling, or wearing any of his clothes.
3. My mom called and asked about the dog. First she asked about me, my husband, our daughter, the goodbye. I gave her all the details in a detached but pulled together way. I assured her that I was "fine". Then she asked if the dog came to the airport. I got choked up. "uh-huh" breathe "He's....having....the...hardest...time...of any of us". Ridiculous. I know. But after J got out of the car, the dog's eyes were watering. He cries when J leaves. You don't have to believe me, but I've witnessed it many times. He also refused to eat all day. He jumped up when the neighbors' garage opened because it sounded like Daddy's garage. He'll be fine. I will be too. I had no trouble eating today.
Back to the airport
Right now I have nothing profound or reflective to say, but I feel obligated to write. We (daughter, dog, and me) brought J to the airport early this morning. It was before sunrise, so I was able to convince our daughter it was still night time. She accepted this and went back to sleep when we got home.
His leave was perfect. Perfect because it felt like normal life again, not because it was scripted and free of conflict. Did we do everything we'd hoped? Almost. Did we fight? A little. Did we annoy each other? Sometimes. Did we enjoy our time together as a couple and a family? Absolutely.
In my wedding speech over five years ago I attempted to tell my husband that happy days before him were not as good as bad days with him. That's still true. I prefer the days when he's here with me, but being married to him makes any day a good one. Even the day we take him to the airport and say goodbye, again.
His leave was perfect. Perfect because it felt like normal life again, not because it was scripted and free of conflict. Did we do everything we'd hoped? Almost. Did we fight? A little. Did we annoy each other? Sometimes. Did we enjoy our time together as a couple and a family? Absolutely.
In my wedding speech over five years ago I attempted to tell my husband that happy days before him were not as good as bad days with him. That's still true. I prefer the days when he's here with me, but being married to him makes any day a good one. Even the day we take him to the airport and say goodbye, again.
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